2026 – 09 – 11 im stayin

 

2026 – 09 – 11

im stayin

 

              It’s been a while since I posted a proper update, so let me sum it up with one simple phrase: im stayin in Kyiv. I postponed school for at least a semester so I can help more at the kitchen. And you know what? It just feels right.

              I knew very little about Ukraine or Kyiv or anything besides what borscht was before I moved here. But Kyiv is an impressive city. It’s about the same population of Chicago but with ~30% more space, so it doesn’t feel cramped and there’s a surprising amount of greenery. From all the news I saw, I thought it would be completely destroyed, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth. I’d say 95% of the time, feels like a normal place. Businesses run mostly as normal, kids play at the playgrounds outside, and life goes on.

              At the risk of sounding sappy, work here has been a treasure. After years of jobs updating Excel spreadsheets and whatever other fruitless tasks I’ve been assigned to do, working with my hands in a kitchen has felt rewarding. Seeing the fruits of our labour at the end of the day makes it feel like we’re actually doing something, especially since it’s for such a great cause. This is the first time in a long time I actually enjoy going to work, and that has been a great perk of being here.

              Even better than the work itself has been the people. I can and have made entire journals about how impressed I am with Ukrainians. They’re the toughest people in the world, but they’ve also been so surprisingly warm and welcoming. They’ve been nothing but nice to me, and I’m shocked at how grateful they are that I’m here. Like when my neighbor came over with a six pack of beer just because he heard us speaking English. Or when the girl working at the Adidas store asked to take a picture with us because we were American. Or when a drunk guy trimming the garden at work came over and literally kissed my ear to say thanks because we were volunteering. Slobbered all over it, too. So many times have I been put on a pedestal that I don’t feel like I deserve, simply because I am here.

This is especially true at the kitchen. I didn’t realise how touch-starved I was until I got here, but I get hugs every single day at the kitchen. Yes, I realise that makes me sound like a dog, but who doesn’t like a good hug? Even though I don’t speak the language and most of my coworkers are older Ukrainian women, I feel like I’m just hanging out with a bunch of friends. We still find ways to joke, share our cultures, and contribute to something greater than ourselves. Besides the Ukrainians, it’s also great meeting people from all over the world who decided to come out here to help, too.

But the real catalyst to why I’m choosing to stay here came a few weeks ago when my boss invited me to pick up her daughter from elementary school with her after work. I’m really tight with her, so I was excited to come along. When I got there, after she ran up and gave me a big hug, I noticed the other students peeking their heads out to see me. We played at the playground for long enough for me to really start feeling my age. Really starting to feel in my 30s lately.

That would have already been enough of a story in itself, but then later that night, my boss sent me a long message. I don’t want to get too into the details because it’s their story and not mine, but they told me that their whole family’s life has changed since the outbreak of the war, and they were left disconnected from their family. Since then, they’ve felt alone. So to have me there to act as their de-facto brother has been a breath of fresh air.

              Then, she explained that she also brought me to school earlier to show the kids that foreigners really did come to Ukraine to help. Those kids would tell their parents, and that would show them that they’re not alone in this. Simply by virtue of being here as an American, my presence has been helping.

              Look, I’m just some guy. All I’m doing is volunteering at a kitchen. So to read that message and realise how much of an impact I’m making put me to tears. How can I justify going back to Japan when I’m feeling so useful here?

Lorde knows how much I contemplated. Even though I was only there for eight months, Japan has been my home. And when people ask me where my home is, I still say Japan. I really do miss it, and I can’t wait to return someday. I miss my friends there, I miss learning Japanese, and you’re darn sure that I miss the food. God, I miss Japanese food.

              But Ukraine is at war. A war that America should have been helped more to prevent. So the least I can do is help Ukraine by making meals for frontline troops. And my reason to leave this is… Because I miss sushi? It just doesn’t seem right.

              The tipping point came when my buddies John and Phil came all the way from America to join me for a little while here. Absolutely sick of them to drop everything and come out here to see me and volunteer. Genuinely awesome dudes who I’m so, so proud to call my buddies for all these years.

              While they were here, I had some conversations with them about how torn I was. The gears were already in-motion to come back to Japan, but I really do think I’m doing something important here in Kyiv. After talking to them, they helped set me on the right path.

Thankfully, it’s not that hard to postpone school. I’ll be back someday. I do really miss Japan. But for now, Ukraine is where I feel like I need to be.

So yeah, I’m staying. This has been the most rewarding experience of my life, so I’d be a fool to leave now. And I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: it just feels right.