It’s funny, sitting down to write after being in Vietnam and not having anything I want to say. It’s like going into a full fridge and thinking there’s nothing to eat. What a wild paradox that is.
It’s also odd to say that it’s
been more of the same, as if living in this quasi-lawless land has become
something resembling a routine. It starts off like this: wake up late (I tell
myself it’s to avoid the sun). Get a meal that’s exotic to me, but not terribly
abnormal to someone who lives here (I had crocodile for breakfast yesterday,
and bahn xao today, which was basically a giant seafood and meat taco served in
a crepe). Mull about (like visit the roof of a tall building or an interactive
art museum). Eat some more (yesterday blessed me with several different types
of snails and grilled chicken feet). Walk some more. Do something at the
absolute last minute, like plan tomorrow’s hotel or book tomorrow’s trip. Eat one,
final time (today I had lobster). And lastly, head home to whichever peculiar
hotel I’m staying at, where I’ve only once shit my brains out so far. My guess is
that it was from the snails.
But this “routine”, if you can even call it that, had moments that stuck
out of it that deserve to be documented. Take, for example, my successful
negotiation at Bến Thành market (you can tell I Googled how to spell
it because of the accent marks). After getting absolutely run through by the lady selling the vape the other day, who literally took my own money out of my wallet when I tried to barter, I made it my mission to negotiate successfully while I was here. It goes against every fibre of my polite midwestern
upbringing to negotiate with locals when our currency is valued at so much
higher than theirs, but it’s just a thing you do here. Besides, travelling is a
time to grow, and it can be good to get uncomfortable with the uncomfortable.
So with the memory of my decisive defeat fresh in my mind, I decided I needed
to buy the one thing that would help prevent such an embarrassment to the
salesperson I was in the past – a new wallet.
You see, the wallet I’ve been using
since I left America is my passport holder. It’s got a slot for cash, but it’s
in the middle of the wallet, so I have to whip out all of my cash when I try to
withdraw a bill. This made it too easy for that merciless vape lady to just
whisk that 100,000 Vietnamese Dong bill (~$4 USD) right out from under my nose.
So I put on my big boy pants and marched into that marketplace with the
objective of getting a second, normal wallet that also stores coins for when I’m
back in Japan.
After only a brief search, I found a
stand with a plethora of wallets. Like a shark to blood, a salesperson
immediately approached me as I merely laid my eyes upon his lair. We dug around
through his selection before, like a treasure hidden at the end of a cave, we
found it – a brown Gucci wallet, almost certainly not officially made by Gucci.
“How much is it?” I asked.
“1,200,000 dong [~$46 USD], but for
you, I’ll do 1,000,000 [$38 USD].” Like there was anything special about me
that deserved that discount. But maybe the vape lady bagged to him about me, and
he felt jealous.
It was time. Alright, big guy, here
it goes, I thought. “Ah, that’s a little more than I planned on spending,” I
tried, clumsily whipping out the rest of my money through the awkwardness of my
passport holder. As I looked through my remaining cash, I found I had hardly
more than 600,000. “How about 600,000?” I desperately asked, the remnants of my
money flopping in front of the man like a gambler showing the table his hand.
We just kind of looked at each
other and laughed.
“There’s an ATM nearby,” he
suggested.
I had no other cards to play. “Actually,
how about the rest of my cash?” It was maybe 646,000.
He looked at me for a second before
shrugging. “You know what, sure, it’s an end-of-the-day sale,” he agreed.
And just like that, I my objective
was complete. Was it because I was a shrewd negotiator? No. Not one bit. But as
Buzz Lightyear said, we weren’t flying – we were falling with style. I strutted
out of there with my brand new (probably) Gucci (probably not) wallet, proud.
Even if I had no cash to put in it.
Beyond that, I met some nice
people. To only name a few, I met a couple of very nice students raising money
for charity. I gave them a couple of bucks for some lip balm, and they took my picture alongside a picture of Ho Chi Minh, which I couldn’t have been more excited to take. I got a ride from a nice older guy on a moped, which was on my
bucketlist because I needed to experience being on a moped in this insane
Vietnam traffic, but was too scared to drive one myself. And I met a couple who
very much looked at me like I was a piece of meat. All in a day’s work, I
suppose.
But what I’m most fond of while
travelling are the random moments between the big events. Just yesterday, I
watched an episode of Anthony Bourdain while he was in Saigon, and he spoke
about how what he enjoys the most about Vietnam is when he’s sitting next to a
busy street, eating something you can only find here, hearing the constant
buzzing of mopeds whir past, basking in the admiration that each random
passerby is has their own inexplicably detailed story. “Sonder”, is what that’s
called. So today, I got a white coffee right next to the Saigon River and sipped
it, trying to emulate him as best as I could, to see if I could squeeze a
little bit out of life like he had countless times before. And it worked.
Across the street was a massive
statue in a small section of land otherwise bustling with tall buildings. But
what caught my eye the most were the people paying respects to it. Incense
being lit, paintings being done, pictures being taken, people bowing and
praying. One lady went up to it and simply touched her forehead to it in
silence for a moment. Whatever the hell was going on over there, I had to investigate
myself.
So when I finished my coffee, I began
my trek to the urban island protected by a constant, swirling whirlpool of
cars. I’m not kidding you, 100% of the time, vehicles were on a perpetual swirl
around it. I stood by the edge of the street, waiting for a moment to make a
mad dash across, for about 6 minutes, before a local pressed a button hidden
behind a sign and the traffic stopped. Ope.
It was a statue of Trần Hưng Đạo.
You can tell I Googled that, too. I didn’t know who he was at the time because
the only thing labelled on the statue was his name. He’s such an iconic figure
in Vietnamese history that he didn’t need a plaque. Everyone here already knows
about him. But for me, I had to do a little research. Turns out, this absolute
badass beat the Mongols back in the 13th century. Twice. Just like Tsushima. So
funny to me that I keep stumbling upon these places where the Mongols have
attacked twice. I’m looking forward to watching some YouTube later and seeing
how he did it. I wouldn’t have caught any of that if I hadn’t taken Anthony Bourdain’s advice.
Tomorrow, I’m supposed to see the
Cu Chi Tunnels, which is rather early, so I can’t stay up late writing like I
normally would. Another part of this “routine” that I have to break. But get comfortable
with the uncomfortable, right?
SOTD – Anthony Bourdain’s Parts
Unknown theme song
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